The Last 9 months have been an incredible journey. I have waded through waters I had thought I would never have to venture into. The waters .... cold..dark & murky waters of having a child with an illness.
The journey the long path from diagnosis... to acceptance... to healing. Allowing the richness and beauty of life to envelop me (and us) surrounding us in life giving protecting liquid gold... white light & energy.
Along this path... along this rocky journey... I have found 'Me" I have found the essence of me... An awakening.... an awakening of my many gifts & abilities. An awakening of a spirit that had been asleep... asleep in the mundaneness of everyday life... I am awake... I am vibrant.. I walk a tumultuous tightrope.... but I know that I feel.... I scar... I heal. I am blessed.
The journey has been incredible.....I have heard many people say.. that Only being subjected to times of darkness can we truly see our light & brilliance. I agree... The flip side of feeling intense heart rendering... soul aching pain... is that I had to open my heart... I had to look deep inside myself.... see my fragility.... feel my pain.... face my now & my future... I purged myself of all that I had held to be true... all that I had known.... All that I held as being a given.... I de-cluttered my heart, my mind & my spirit. I had no room in my life.. other then for my darling children & husband. I knew my family needed me to heal.... to accept & allow the Universe the Freedom to do what was needed. I cried... I cried..... i prayed.... I wrote...... I found writing cathartic.... I found sobbing under the shower to be a healing experience. The gentle shower water cleansing my body & soul.... the tears I cried.... being tiny prayers... enveloped in healing water... being carried to heaven in the loving arms of Angels. Slowly I cried less & started to smile... slowly... ever so slowly the sunshine filled my heart. The purging I had done... allowed my heart to easily resonate & vibrate with the brilliance of the sun.
For many many years I have been told by many people, people I know, strangers & even people in my dreams that I have the gift of energy healing. The gift of listening to a person & helping them feel love, acceptance & healing. i was always scared of this. I remember running a Women's Retreat at an incredible place North Of Sydney & the insightful owner took me aside... held my hands & said "don't be afraid, embrace your gifts.. they come from a good place" she told me that i help to open people's Crown Chakra's... I have always been spiritual, very intuitive & aware of both the seen & unseen... the spoken & unspoken..
Since then I have had a whole series of Synchronous events that have led me to accept & treasure my gifts. More importantly treasure the amazing people I have met along the way. Gentle, loving, intuitive souls.... people that wish to heal the world... bring about love & acceptance of all. I feel very honoured to have been guided by those who have felt a connection with me. My goal now is to join all the dots in my life... my gifts, my desires, my abilities, my responsibilities & commitments ... much like joining the many stars in the sky... creating my own constellation... my own sign. I am now at the point in my journey where I am compelled to move forward...embracing who I am, using my gifts to make my life, my family & my community & my circle of influence a better place. A more sacred place. I now know that I walk this journey with guides, with family & friends. I do not walk alone.... and when i am feeling a little weak & unsure I can rely upon my 'community' to carry the weight for a little..... like wise I am here to help carry the weight for others when needed.
So here I stand starting an amazing journey .. a journey of healing, self-discovery & awakenings... A journey of new beginnings... a journey of tears & laughter..... I walk this path 1 step at a time.... I choose not to run...as I want to do it right... I want to reflect this love & light......
I love your honesty and your strength. It feels good to know more about you and your story. You inspire me! :o) Love to your baby my friend. She is most definitely an angel too! That's for sure. Is that why her body is not a very strong/stable medium for her soul to travel with at the moment?
ReplyDeletevery nice and imparting such feeling. I am a strong believer in everything happening for a higher good, for a reason and especially at this time in the human journey. Your journey is one of joy and life presents itself to help you find your true self. Not all take the path of learning like you, some shy away and go deeper into denial, but you embraced the gifts and lessons offered to you. Welcome to life as your 'true self'.
ReplyDeleteYou said in your post 'My goal now is to join all the dots in my life...' Have you noticed how you write, how you tweet? It is full of dots, all passages waiting to be filled. You will fill them as your inner self becomes even stronger than it already is. Enjoy :)
There is so much to say. In a nutshell, I love your deep insights and the way you describe the journey of your soul. There is an irresistible light and beauty in your journey since you have open up and risen from darkness and sorrow. You have found yourself anew and your soul is guided by love and spirit. I know you have a sense of people, and I know you touch them. You have already. Please share about your enlightening journey.
ReplyDeleteTake care,
You have a beautiful way of expressing the depth of feeling in poetic prose. It takes the reader right into your heart, even without knowing the details of everything. We are with you, discovering, accepting, embracing, and filling with your joy. Much love to you - I am one of the many admiring your gifts and blessing you on your journey.
ReplyDeleteI have just read every word of your blog...I am glued to my screen feeling your pain, your journey and know with your abilities you will join the dots. Your family is fortunate to have a gifted mom like you. Together you will find strength in each other and learn how to cope with this curve fast ball that came at you.Lorna
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