Finding your spirit

Finding my sense of Balance

In a world where there is so much turmoil... so many demands on us..our time..our body...our health & our minds, its essential that we learn to take time out. Time out to recharge our emotional & physical batteries... Renew our energy levels. I want to talk about what makes me tick & how i recharge my energy levels.... How I become balanced....

As I have said before I am a multifaceted person. I have an aspect of myself that is highly intellectual... rational and sequential... I like a sense of order... of knowing my parameters.... However juxtaposed .... I also have an aspect of my person that is highly free spirited.... could live in a world of long flowing hair, flowers & dreaming. Live in a world or creative, passionate & creative being.....

I am a very visual person.... highly sensual....that is my senses are heightened and it has been like that always.... which is usually a good thing... I smell the tiniest scent of the newly budding spring flowers... I delight in the feeling of the cool breeze as it caresses my skin.... My ears are attuned to the sounds of the wind chimes & birds..... my taste buds explode when I bite into a ripe piece of fruit...strawberries.... peaches.... are like gifts from the heavens...

I am lost in those moments of pure sensual bliss. The feel of soft fabrics against my skin...satins, silks, linens & softly spun wool.... all small glimpses of heaven.....

However.. my heightened sensitivities, also make be highly susceptible to having things irritate me.... I can't stand the sound of static.... it makes my skin crawl... or the feel of hard prickly arcyrlic fabrics as they brush against my skin... it hurts.... or the incredible pungent smells of strong detergents that make me gasp for air...

I do allow myself to get upset.... to feel...to express... I have personal space... SO on a day when I may have a million things to do...kids might be sick.... & all I have heard is crying...smelled vomit... my reserves of energy may be low. I may be tired from being up all night with my daughter.... or I may have laid unable to sleep because I am too busy solving the worlds problems inside my head..... I am sensitive & feel others pains.... stress & frustrations.... coupled with my own... it may make me struggle to fall asleep.

So what is it that I do to find balance...a sense of inner calm... an even keel......

I do many micro meditations throughout the day....... I find moment of stillness .... of being.... Of connecting with the divine life & energy source.

I ground myself.... I focus my energies..... my heart..spirit...body rejoice in Sunsets...Sunrises...the beach..Water...sweet sweet water....

I try to ground myself in the vast Abundance of nature that surrounds me.... the trees, the birds, the flowers, the air....

I love using twitter & faceBook. I chat, I giggle & I share...... I connect with a growing number of like minded people.... people who inspire & challenge me.... people with whom I find a connective consciousness....

I get down & play with the kids....... delight in kisses & cuddles...in laughter & joy

I eat well..... I drink sufficient water...... I nurture my body..... I love me.... I value me....

I try to be active... I need to work on this aspect...I love exercise..... I love the way it makes me feel....

I write....I draw....I sing...I dance.....I laugh... I create ... I express myself...purging negative energy.... I let it flow... I find joy in music...comedy laughter....

I don't forget where I came from.... but I don't let it limit me to where I can go....

More then just a Mum....

Bringing a love & Nurture into my children's lives...

I guess this blog is close to my heart...& close to many of yours as well.. it is about Money..... or more importantly the lack thereof & the stresses one has when trying to secure enough funds to live a good life. To pay the bills & have enough left over to live a good life...have holidays... pay for extra things such as private Speech therapy or Occupational Therapy for the kids. Or even maintain special diets for children who have multiple food allergies & intolerances.

I am not in paid employment at the moment, so therefore I am relying solely on my husbands income. However, with times the way they are.... it is now very evident that this needs to change.....it can't last forever. I need to find a way of generating some extra family income. I need to find a way which will allow me to contribute to the families financial kitty. Yet still allow me the opportunity to be at home with my children... At least for another 18months whilst my daughter is still at home. Maybe when she starts school... things won't be so hard & I can simply get a social work/counsellor job.

Hoping for some Angelic help & guidance.... knowing what direction to take

My problem is that I can't simply just go & get a 9-5 job...I have young children that I need to consider. I feel as though my back is against the wall. I do feel disempowered, reliant upon my husband to provide. I also feel the stab of pain when he criticises my budgeting. I fully understand his 'fears' ... yet I know the reality of my situation as well. It is not easy being a stay at home mum ( parent) especially a stay at home Mum of a child with extra needs. It is exhausting, I don't get recognised for my contribution to society for my love & care that I provide.

I don't get lunch breaks, I don't get a pay packet. No I get the joy of feeling guilty because I am not contributing $ to the family. It is so easy to feel a little bit of bitterness & resentment creep up inside of me. It is not an easy road to take.
Having hope that tomorrow will bring with it ideas & actions...new hopes & chances...new opportunities to be everything to everyone.... including myself.

I have been a working Mother & I found it stressful only in that I was working & still doing 100% of the household chores. This will

have to change significantly when I return to the workforce. I enjoyed going & having colleagues, using my brain, challenging myself & learning. Yet the pull on my heart strings was intense & I knew that the place for me wasn't at work....but at home being a SAHM.

So here I sit...stressed & annoyed with the incessant chirp of "what are you going to do" I do understand the financial situation, I do care, I do stress & worry...but hey I stress & worry about a whole lot of things...things that I have taken ownership of as being a SAHM. I feel like i have limited control & I need to snap out of that mindset & take action...be my own best friend. Get the ball rolling...

So how am I going to generate extra money? How am I going to feel good about myself...feel as though i am accomplishing some of my goals & dreams? But this is balanced with well why aren't i appreciated for who i am & all the other ways I am contributing to the family? Am I any less of a person because i am not working? Do you honestly think I prefer being a SAHM of a child with special needs? Do you really think this is my Nirvana? well if so...you are indeed mistaken..
Dreams both near & far... long term & short term

I want to be contributing to society...adding beauty & depth...making a difference. I want to feel valued...in the personal & financial sense. I want to be doing something with the gifts that I have amassed along life's highway. I absolutely know of the incredible importance of parenting. I know that & can feel it in my heart of hearts. However my reality is that I need to do more then just parent. I need to be a financial contributor as well. Parenting cuts to the very core of me... as does being a women... being a creative being.... being a person... I have dreams of working as an Advocate... helping others who have walked similar paths. I have dreams of running a healing retreat.... yet I have to think hard & wonder if I am truly able to manifest these into my life.

feeling like driftwood thats cast upon the beach.... so much potential but for what????

So what can I do? I am at a crossroads & need to move forward.... I need to start contributing financially...that I understand. I have to think outside the box.... I have to be creative.... I basically can only do outside of the home work during the night...and if I did that when am i to sleep? when am I do parent? when am I do clean the house? & when am I to have a life?

This is so simple... I wish it was.... I'm struggling to come up with ideas.... I want more then ideas...I want action...I want answers... I want to be able to breathe easy knowing that I am pulling me weight. I want to not have to walk on egg shells at home because I am seen as an enemy who is reluctant to work. This hurts & is so far from the truth. Maybe this sounds a little dramatic, but this is what it can feel like.

So what can I do? I'd happily take ideas & suggestions. I would love to simply be able to write & sell my work... but that is a long term goal. I'm a little lost & stumbling through this haze of uncertainty & frustration. I know what is expected of me...I know my dreams & goals...and I know my reality..... trying to balance that & come up with a workable solution is the key.....I need to allow balance, love & light in my life. Not add extra stress... Ah what to do.... for an intelligent person I am having difficulty coming up with suitable ideas.
The essence of my being...my children..my loves....

Where do I find that key..... the Holy grail..... I will let you know as I progress further along my quest...

Dyslexia.... Spelling... a sure fire way to cause tears in my household....

http://www.freelyeducate.com/2010/07/giveaway-from-all-about-spelling-a-full-spelling-curriculum.html

A shout out to the wonderful educators & people of Freely Educate (above link) They are Angels blessing us with their free give aways. I am hoping for a wonderful free gift that will help my children utilise their creative gifts..... & its all about SPELLING ... yes thats right SPELLING..... even a gifted visual thinking needs to know how to spell... I think in pictures... yet in order to share these mind pictures & thoughts with the world I need to translate them into words... So can you imagine how frustrating it is for children (including gifted children) who struggle with the complexities of spelling..... how can they express their thoughts if..they are unable to translate it into real words?

I have finally had my intuitions confirmed...my very sweet & gifted boy struggles with dyslexia.... as well as motor dyspraxia.... the result is that sequencing...spelling, writing & planning is difficult....

He is a very bright, creative & intuitive boy..... yet I really pray that he gets his spelling under wraps...as it will have a major impact upon his school life, outcomes & sense of social & academic achievement..

I also have a 5yo who is mirroring his brother's dyslexic traits (and his father's dyslexic traits) He attends a literacy program with his speech therapist..... but to have this spelling program would make a major difference to his learning outcomes as well.

Learning is not just about ticking the boxes & meeting a requirement. Learning is about life, about living... Its about being capable of participating in life fully.... It is about upon one's personal strengths & abilities.... Learning is essential...... spelling is not just about words..... spelling is about being about to fully express oneself in written form.... being able to spell allows for a faster translation of thoughts onto paper (especially for the gifted visual spatial people like my children) Learning how to spell is much like having a huge segment of a key...a key that will enable its owner to open their minds...their expressive self & share it with the world. Hence the reason I am trying to win this amazing package.... wish me luck

Denial..... who truly benefits from Denial...

Denial.... Acceptance.....Life

I really want to write about an important topic... Denial. I guess I am not referring to me specifically but people in general & in particular Parenting...... I am writing this blog precisely from my life view...I understand each of us is different & processes life accordingly..... It is not my intention to cause pain or frustration to anyone.... I hope you can respect my perspective on life..... there is no need to agree with me...just understand I am writing this as me.....

My Darling Daughter Annamieke...seeking some quiet solace from the rock at the beach.... its as if they both shared each others energy...

Ok those of us who have children with extra needs, special needs, disabilities know the tumultuous path that we have tread.... The fears...the tears...the years..... We know what is like to start to question our child's development...... can't help comparing them to children of similar age etc...... We know what its like when we have a niggling little feeling that something is just not right....something doesn't quite fit...... those awkward silences...when you could wish the Earth would open up & swallow you... I guess I'm talking about the journey to acceptance, understanding & knowledge.....

Those silent awkward moments...where every fibre of your being wants to discuss with your partner of family your concerns, your worries & anxieties.... That first moment of letting down your defences & discusses your pain...your worries....your confusion/concern..... The conversations that follow...the investigations..the blood tests, the MRI's or other scans, the specialist appointments....... the heartbreak when your concerns are proven...... the sheer sense of disbelief...... the heartache of adjusting to what is...& letting go of what you thought was..... This is all happening during the adjustment process..... trying to accept..trying to understand..... trying to be a ray of sunshine to the outside world (read children) whilst inside you feel void....bereft..empty...shattered.......

Playing in the park.... things aren't always what they seem & appearances can be deceiving

Then slowly the pain & heartache give way.....the adjusting period settles...We may not have changed...yet our view on life has changed..... we know know we have children who require extra care, support, consideration, energy & love...... Yes I do say love.... Oh boy the Love needed.... the patience.... the commitment ... the understanding & acceptance....

Soon we start to change our perspective from "what is not possible" to "Ability" "gifts" becoming educated, informed, passionate advocates... fro some the journey from heartbreak to passionate advocate can be fast...for others a very long process..... And although I write passionate advocate.....I do so knowing full well that us passionate advocates...bleed, hurt, cry, worry... we may be able to hold all the pieces together, but it doesn't mean we still don't ache intensely.... for our children & their future...

The reason for the blog is to talk about those people in our lives...who for whatever reason try to persuade us that there is nothing wrong with our children.....

A winters stroll by the water...... taking a moment out...to care for her sole (soul)

It takes a lot of courage & strength to verbalise our concerns.... then to have people say..No don't worry its typical behaviour for boys, girls etc..... can really have a negative affect.

Friends & family can generally tell when a child starts to behave/react in ways that are alarming.....Yet why do they deny the truth (as they see it) I am not saying they have the right to blatantly come out & say things like.... I think your child has Autism... or I think your child has a delay etc...... No definitely NOT

I guess I am just saying...family & friends should be there to allow an open dialogue..... not be afraid to talk about big things.....We need the open dialogue ...we need the understanding...we need that safe non-judgemental space.... That arena to discuss life & our concerns... because if any of you are like me..its like an Ice Berg.... the thoughts I share & express are nothing compared to the bottomless ocean of emotion I have inside..... If I want to talk...its because I need to..I feel strong enough.... & its helpful....

Possibilities Galore.... acceptance of what is... & making the absolute most to ensuring a full active life

It may be hard to tell some one the truth...but whats worse allowing someone to live in denial...or lovingly try to give voice to any concerns..... there are subtle ways of doing this.....

I guess empty unqualified words like "don't worry its OK...its all normal" can actually be harmful in the long run...although they may sound great at the time.... if someone doesn't believe it...why say it....why lie???

What will tomorrow be..... how far will her shadow stretch...what ripple effect will her beauty & strength have upon this world....

I also know that until a person is able to openly discuss & accept their child's differences...having unqualified people saying things could be very painful....... but somewhere there must be a balance.....

I think if parents are concerned & raise the fact that they think their child may have some difficulties etc...then people/we/society should allow them the space...a safe non-judgemental space to openly discuss this...... it never hurts to say.... "well if you are worried why don't you discuss it with your doctor........."

I guess I wanted to talk about this because there is an incredible amount of bad advice being dispensed out in the real world...& for parents who are struggling to come to terms with possible disabilities..... not allowing the platform to discuss things.... is potentially harmful.... the truth is there are children with special needs...there is difference.... there is life..... its so much better to be able to discuss it..without others allowing us to further deny it, ourselves or our children....

I never walk alone... I am surrounded by love & Light..Angels & the Creator

I guess also until a person is ready to face the truth...its important for families & friends to be gentle...just be there when the time is needed....don't push..... it is a hard road to travel...one frought with much pain & heart ache..... eventually the smiles will come..... but first the tears.....

It is not my intent to offend any readers...I can appreciate each of us has there own personal view on life...and this is mine.....

The sun will shine...the rain will stop ...& things will heal..... warmth...love & energy will be restored..somewhat differently... but hey thats a whole new blog

Values....life & other wonderful things

I have been a little pre-occupied this last week. Hence the sparsity of my blogging.But to keep in line with my online journalling I want to talk about my own personal Values....... I guess the reality is my values underpin all my actions...my beliefs & my perspectives of life. Ultimately how I act, react, think & talk...the very language I use.... the eyes I see the world from.... the very core of my psyche.... ME... even the way I walk & represent myself to the rest of the world.... & what I see when i look in the mirror.... or indeed when I look into the mirror of your reflection.

I was brought up to be a good Catholic girl....I have always had a strong faith...but of recent years I call myself more spiritual and NOT religious. I can see that many beliefs, many paths have levels of enlightenment.... I am eclectically spiritual.... I guess I could even quantify that further & say that I derive much of my inspiration....love....joy....Values from Nature..... from watching the birds & the bees.... the trees as they sway in the breeze.....the Sun as it shines down & bathes the Earth in radiant light. I find nature teaches me many lessons about life.....acceptance.....allowing......loving.....growing & VALUES....Nature is me & I am Nature

My core values....are centered around RESPECT...... Respect of myself....my fellow citizen.... respect of my culture...of other cultures....of the Earth...Respect of my role as mother & wife.....As Me....Mary the person.... the collective entity...of all the roles i play in life....

Respect is Valuable.... In all honesty I don't care if people like me.....I do care that I am afforded the same degree of respect that I afford others... Respect is crucial in ensuring the world rotates peacefully.

What do I mean by RESPECT...... My personal belief.... This is what I see RESPECT as implying....My take......

It identifies DIFFERENCE.... the UNIQUE quality of each person....animal...plant etc

It understands that difference is to be embrace & appreciated.....valued...looked at accordingly.

It implies a degree of self-worth....self-acceptance & seeing this in others....

It implies that I have a grounded realistic view of myself...my abilities & my dreams.....

It implies that I value the same qualities & attributes in others.

It implies that birth right & STATUS are irrelevant...

it implies that each person was created equally in the eyes of GOD (or whatever deity you choose to follow...or likewise not follow)

It implies listening....attempting to understand...to empathise.....regardless if the views may not be in line with yours.

Respect is something that is not simply given because one demands it...... respect is an honour that is given..... it is an active choice for me.... to say I RESPECT that person...I see that person for who they are & what they have done.....

I value RESPECT....

It dances well with integrity....loyalty.....honesty......and the big one....LOVE

Absolutely..respect cannot be demanded.... that is simply servitude in my eyes.... Respect is something that runs deeper...it is a conscious choice..... it manifests in our actions, thoughts & language towards ourselves & others......

Honestly if we were to do a survey of our life....placing those we respect in 1 column & those we have chosen not to respect in another column...... we would see a clear pattern emerge..... it could tell us about ourselves...our life & what we value & how we process & heal.....

Respect is something we earn.... it is not on our terms but on the terms of those who graciously grant us it. But it must start with self-respect...yet this is a very complex subject....complicated by many things.....for some the search for self-respect is like the holy grail itself...seems elusive.... unobtainable.... especially if we have been told repeatedly that you are not worthy or respect or love (not myself...but others who have been exposed to abusive parent-child relationships)

but self-respect is a crucial tool...to successfully navigate life.....we are all fragile creatures & the actions & words of others (those we put trust & faith in...elders, parents caregivers etc) help us to value ourselves..... or sadly not value our true self.....

by respecting myself...... I love my mind...my body...& I treat it accordingly.... By respecting my family..... I live a life that exemplifies that respect & love.....

This sounds so preachy ...but its not....

RESPECT can be murky waters.... the word can summon up negative feelings of being enforced to respect..... I guess I have always been one to buck the system...... you could never buy my love & respect with harsh words or sweet promises of nothing.... I have always been a person of principle & observed...observed people...their words & actions...... & I have judged myself the same way....

I hope you are able to show respect to yourself & others..... it is a wonderful gift...a gift that keeps on giving.... but definitely one not to be taken for granted.

Stealth Dyslexia in Gifted Children

Check out this SlideShare Presentation:

Stealth Dyslexia in Gifted Children

View more presentations from Eide Neurolearning Clinic.

As Life Goes On

I have felt pain……. I have danced in the rain…. I have laughed…. I have cried…. I feel….. I heal…. I am ME

Last Weekend I was honoured enough to go away for 3 nights with my Mother & 2 of my sisters. It was a stunning weekend.... about an hour out of Sydney on the banks of a beautiful leafy River. The river flowed so gently...... it was a wonderful grounding & healing medium.

The Gentle Healing River Flow

It was a rather intense weekend, more so then I had expected. Yet it was exactly what I needed. And I believe exactly what my darling Mother & 2 sisters needed. My others sisters where meant to come along as well, but unfortunately life as a mother of small children can sometimes act as a bit of a deterrent to seeking healthy healing alone time. But that's OK, I accepted that as part of their journey...it was just a shame that they were not there to witness the beauty....the unfurling of spirit & hope that I witnessed. I got to spend time listening to my Mother... listening to stories that I was too young to remember...listening to things that had a huge impact upon my life.

Picture: my Mum by the Healing River this weekend

I was born the 8th child in a family of 10 children, 4 Boys & 6 girls. My parents got together when they were very young, my mother 16 & father 19. They were married when my mother was 18 & had a child within the 1st year.

My parents had lost their dear sweet gentle Son to drowning when he was 10 years old. In fact not only did he drown, but he drowned at the hands of his brothers & friends, as they were all fooling around. Several years before that their beautiful darling daughter contracted the measles at age 18months & unfortunately it developed into encephalitis. She soon fell into a coma for several months, only to awaken with severe physical & mental disabilities. They struggled for 2 years to meet all her needs, while struggling through abject poverty, births of new children & looking after my Grandfather who was dying from cancer & had suffered many strokes. My darling mother was very ill in her pregnancies...but she told of how the Dr came by to check on her & my grandfather & my sister & basically said you need to stop this..or you will kill yourself.

The Unfurling of A Heart & Spirit.... of a life story

After 2 long exhausting years...my parents made the only decision they could...they had to place my then 4year sister into a hospice where she could receive 24 hour care & medical support. They made this heart wrenching decision when my mum was 7 months pregnant with me. I was born into a family grieving the loss of their hopes & dreams for their daughter & sister" I was born into a family bleeding & in pain. We have visited my sister at her home..... all my life...my parents go religiously.... I hated going as a child..because it smelled sterile.....

I have very early memories of my life...of being a baby..a toddler... very vivid memories..that are in fact real memories that I have had confirmed. My darling brother Mark loved me.... I was his shining light...his darling little sister...my mum said we were inseparable. last weekend as we sat around the log fire in the cabin..i watched as the light flickered upon my mother's weathered, yet beautiful face. The pain as she retold of the day Mark drowned.... told how her brother in laws came by & told my parents... not to look for them for any financial assistance. And of the joy as she recounted funny stories of my brother, stories i was to young to remember. My heart felt so heavy, so useless.... Oh how I wished I could erase that pain & fill it with golden rays of love & light. I hugged her... I sobbed into her shoulder as I hugged her.... I looked into her eyes.. and told her.. that they must be mighty special... if they have been tested by such fire... i told her that they have walked the path of loss of many people. I told her how i loved her... I told her how thankful i was to have been born from her womb. I told her that I was so sorry. I was sorry ..... I wasn't old enough to take her pain away as a small child....

The Fire cast its magic spell.... healing grace.... etched upon the lines of my Mother's face

I am really quite a perfectionist... I have been so all my life.... & I can tell you exactly where it stems from.... the loss of my brother & sister (her becoming ill) I questioned why God would take 2 special children away from my parents & give them me in return. I questioned what it was that I had to do..I am talking about me being a very small child...maybe 4 or 5... I believed that God must expect me to be perfect...to live the life of 3... not just 1.... I felt compelled..to help fill the void in my parents hearts & spirits... I believed that I needed to make my brother proud... I always spoke to him as my Guardian Angel... I know tell my children of the Angel Uncle Mark.... As I write this I do so now with a hint of sadness for what may have been..... My father dredged the River & found his body...and thus has never really been able to forget..to grieve the loss of his darling son. This has caused much disharmony to the family.

I have brothers who have walked & walk the path of drug addiction, mental illness & psychosis. I have seen the damage & pain they have inflicted on myself & my family. Suffice to say I have very strong feeling against drugs.... No one should have to see their older brother shoot up heroin... NO ONE.... or no-one should know that their eldest brother held down his youngest brother & shot him up..... All those involved in that fateful drowning have been severely affected.. drug addictions, suicides, alcohol & mental illness & trouble with the law.... many lives where affected that day...

My parents were poor, they had no family support... they tried to hold their shattered world together... just the 2 of them..... Now I am a parent...my heart aches for the times they would of felt..lost..alone...bereft...distraught....hopeless & much much more....... But as i type this i don't remember SADNESS.. I remember a father..who was magical.... he could make a table full of food appear... he would make Papa Gooley's magic tomato soup..... as a small child.. I only saw the joy.. I never knew that he had gone & picked buckets full of mushrooms..travelled hours to the fruit markets & sold the mushrooms... only to make enough to get some tomatoes & bread (a few other things) I only saw a creative, innovative, entertaining, jovial...yet strict father... Oh how I hope I was affectionate to my father & mother as my children are to me... Oh how I wish I was a source of love & strength... Oh how i hoped i thanked them enough for the precious food they put on the table... I pray that my little face looked at with beaming eyes & said "Yum dad or Mum..that was delicious" I have so much gratitude & love for my parents & the many invaluable life coping skills they have taught me...

All I know is that this weekend away with my Mum & 2 sisters was a real eye opener... a heart opener & a mind opener....... yes my life plate may be a little full..... but I am so blessed... I have family & support, we are financially OK and i have the same strength of spirit & blood coursing through my veins... I am blessed.... I have gratitude...

I intend to have many more times in which I can sit & ask my Mum many more questions... My father needs to be handled with more kit gloves...as although he may be male..he is such a sensitive man... his skin is thick...yet inside he is as soft & affected as any.... I know what it is i must do...I must write a book.... telling their story... the challenges.. the trails... the losses ...as well as their faith...their joys... loves & successes.... their story is inspirational & i have not even touched on it here.....

I want to create an environment where I can sit down & discuss my life, my parents life, my siblings life that is safe... no-judgement & all accepting..... all encompassing. This will be hard.... there are many secrets that lurk in the closets, in the shadows..... yet there is much healing & acceptance that needs to be done....... I know there will be many moments where i will cry upon hearing the answers to my questions..... just as i know there will be moments of elation...of pride...of acceptance......

Before I move on & write the book of my life... I have to pay respect & justice & write the story of my parents.... my childhood.... So taking a lesson from Mother Earth.... the River that flowed so gently.... that is how i will approach this...gently.. allowing gentle healing.

One last afterthought... when discussing my brothers passing with my Mother & sisters.... we discussed how we are drawn to the water... I told my mum that i believed that the water outside our cabin...may hold within it..the tiniest trace of the water that was in the River that took my brother... I told her how i find all water healing... whether walking through the surf, a morning grass full of dew, the ocean, or even the shower..... later we all went down to the River & threw some flowers into it...saying a prayer...an offering ... it was beautiful ... the Afternoon Winters sun..shone down upon us & I felt a presence. It was special.... My brother lived..and I wanted to remember him...... honour & respect him..... LOVE HIM.....

Remembering....... an offering & Prayer

I had a brilliant weekend,,, as you can see it was intense.... but i feel I will remember it as a moment in my life.... where i changed... where I softened a little...where i accepted life a little more.... where i allowed the healing energy of the Universe to do with me what it needed..... I felt peace..... I had emotional toxins that I needed to release........

Thankfully the properties owner poodle followed me around all weekend & showered me with love

Living An Abundant Life

Living Abundantly ...

JOY & LOVE & PEACE & ABUNDANCE & FAMILY & LIGHT & LIFE
This weekend I had the most wonderful time with my family.... we laughed, we sang, we played & we just bonded through shared interests. We went away 4WD'ing on the beach. The beach spans 80km...of white sand...open beach & wonderful sand dunes. Driving, playing, kiting & did i already say lots of laughing... It was a day filled with sunshine...Light & Love.. A Gift handed to us & one we eagerly accepted with open minds & hearts.

It was a much needed outing. I got to walk in the water...wetting my feet & running from the waves.... much like i did as a child.... I got to roll in the sand with my 3yo daughter... laughing.... being in the moment... Plus it was hugely grounding & uplifting at the same time. I got covered in sand...but I though "So What" being in the moment was more important then looking & feeling sandy. i was blessed.. I had family, friends, freedom, health & Abundances galore... I had life & i was cherishing it with a passion.

I got to walk along the beach.... wind in my hair...Sun shining down upon me... strolling... A treasure hunt for shells.... just as I did as a small girl. The excitement & joy even greater now then as a child. I got to walk in the water with my 5yo son...together chasing the waves & laughing... until he fell in & I seemed to be the only one laughing.. (just for a minute or two) Thankfully like any good Mum..I came prepared with several changes of clothes.. I was expecting the attraction of the ocean to be too strong for my babies...and indeed it was... for me as well....hypnotised...mesmerised ... inspired... grounded & freed

I got to feel the tension of a Kite String...as it danced in the wind.... The winds of change. This was perfection.... the sense of freedom, of being, of joy& of calm.... enveloped me.... I felt connected to the wind..I felt its life force resonate deep within my being. I felt grounded... & yet again uplifted. I was in a state of bliss... There was no other place I would of rather have been at that moment in my life... I was 'me' I was 'being' and I was 'home' I was all that I AM....

I got to see my husband, laugh...excitedly like a small child... the joy resonating through his body. That was priceless, as I know he needs to find a balance... an inner calm so he can ride the storms of life as well. It was both grounding & uplifting for him. I feel a little deeper in love with him. I touched him more...held his hand...flirted...responded to his energy. I am thankful for that as I am mindful relationships can easily turn stale.. The gusting sea breeze...helped to blow away the stale air & replacing it with a new vibrancy.... an electricity.... energy. Of that I am truly grateful.

I got to see my children laugh. dance... admire their father, enjoy the delights of a family picnic, play in the water, roll in the sand, play frisbee with our friends dog 'Jack' I saw my kids become even more grounded.... alive with electric energy. I loved watching how they have an incredible connection & love for nature. They are my teachers 7 I am their student. I have so much to learn from their joy, their ability to live Abundantly.

I love that I that I was able to balance loving & playing with my family with building upon my true-self.... I had a day of grounding & flying. I saw much growth & change happen in 1 day. The reason I believe is that we were all willing & open to have a wonderful time... be mindful of each other ... and more importantly because we found great joy in what we were doing as a family unit... as individual & as friends. We never walk alone... we are guided by Angels...

It was a win-win situation....one that we are planning on following up with a similiar experience. It all involves nature, being free & grounded.... removing ourselves from the daily grind & stresses of everyday living and honouring ourselves, each other & nature. For me this is true Abundance.

I AM THAT I AM... And that is very blessed.